Day 148; Not giving up

Over the last two days the thought has crossed my mind. ‘Just give up’. How easy it would be to just start munching on muffins again. To order pizza when I can’t be bothered to cook. To snack on crisps and chocolate whilst I revise. It is very difficult to not get demotivated when you are anticipating a gain as you think that you may as well scrap it for the week. Hopefully the weigh in tomorrow morning will give me the kick up the bum I need to get out of this negative rut and back on track. The bottom line though is that I am not giving up. I know what my own mental hurdles are and the biggest one I face is guilt. Going out for Danae’s birthday meal was wonderful, and having a social time at Chris’ band’s gig and then a drink in town was fab. But for the following 3 days I have been racked with guilt about how many syns I had and how many calories I ate – despite having a great time in the moment. Mom has set me a challenge to try and overcome this guilt, and I will do my best to work on it.

As for my day, I’ve done some yoga this eveninga and I have been reasonably productive; my load of washing should be just about done in the dryer, I’ve washed all my dishes and I have fully tidied my room. I really do own a lot of stuff. I am also considering coming back home this weekend for a much needed break from university AND because it is my nan’s birthday party (which she has no clue about). I would probably go back on the thursday evening, so I don’t know whether I would physically be able to not see her until the party which is on the Sunday. Either way, I need to decide if I am going as the trains are already expensive as it is – around £50 (if not more) for a return. The party is at my house and I have been told its a BBQ so perfect for food optimising. Slimming World actually posted an article dedicated to BBQs just the other day so I will give that a read. I presume it will suggest having chicken, lots of salad, watching out for bread and fatty burgers. I will probably make my own low-syn aioli and have my low syn ketchup too.

Speaking of food, my lunch today was chicken, 2 fried eggs, peppers and cucumber. A bit random I know, but I was going to have baked beans instead of the veg and changed my mind at the last minute. I am attempting to have more vegetables – particularly speed foods – on my plate whenever I can.

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I’ve been getting a bit fed up of my en papillote meals so I went back to pesto. I realised that the pesto I use has more syns in it than I thought; 3.5 per tbsp. I had about 5 syns in this meal just from that pesto. I think I used to put a bit more pesto in to my meals a few weeks ago which was because I wasn’t entering my food into the diary and therefore I wasn’t as conscious of the syn value of everything. This is chicken, mushrooms, peppers,  green beans, mangetout, asparagus, garlic and pesto. All of that veg is speed food!

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I was watching a film with the lads downstairs but it was a bit gory for me. It’s ‘World War Z’ so definitely more of a boys film than a girls – hence I am in my room scrawling out this blog post. I’m going to go and get my washing out of the dryer though now else I will forget!

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