Day 163; There’s no shame in a gain

Bella will be arriving in a few hours! I just crashed last night after staying up and chatting with my housemates so my room is in a bit of a state. I will have to run around now and tidy it up and get myself sorted for when she’s here. If you read yesterday’s blog you are probably aware that I was very nervous about weighing in today. I have a very guilty conscience which I am trying to shake; once you’ve made a mistake involving a choice in food there is generally not much you can do about it other than get back on track and try to not do it again. My problem is that I get very hung up on any mistake I make – I want to be perfect and make no mistakes!

I think my issue stems from when I lost a bit of weight a few years ago. I probably lost about 2 stone going from low 13s into the low 11s. Looking back at pictures , I had gotten SO slim. Like, so slim that I wouldn’t even want to get to that point again. But I didn’t see a slim girl in the mirror, I saw every flaw and blemish. I dwelled on every problem area rather than praising myself for my achievements. However, I lost weight that time by a very calorie-restricted diet (notice how I said restricted and not ‘controlled’, as I denied myself food and weighed absolutely everything to eat about 1,200 cals a day maximum). I also religiously went to the gym for hours at a time. So to be going through weight loss all over again I want to be better so to make mistakes that I didn’t make back then gives me those feelings of failure.

For me to actually weigh in this morning took a bit stern words with myself! Last week I was at home for weigh in on different scales and so a part of me doesn’t rely on what the scales said. But I hit target and I entered the weight onto SW so I made the decision to use it as my weight! So last week I weighed 12st 6lbs. This week I weigh….

12st 7lbs!

Now I bet you’ll be confused as to why I would celebrate a gain of 1lb. Crazy isn’t it? Well, I thought it would be a much bigger gain than that! Plus, it still puts me at my original SW target and I am still happy with my physical appearance so what is there not to celebrate. Sometimes, to take steps forward you may have to take one step back. If I’d had this gain a few weeks ago I probably would have thrown in the towel and given up. My self esteem wasn’t quite where it is now and I wouldn’t have been able to handle it! And whilst my graph may not be ‘kinkless’ and my legs remain a bit wobblier than I want, I will complete my journey at the pace that me (and my body) wants!

I’d also like to point out that I have still lost 65lbs overall, which is 4 stone 9 lbs! 

Last night I made the diet coke chicken AGAIN like I planned to. It was slightly different than the first batch – but certainly not  worse! It was slightly less liquidy so my plate wasn’t swimming. Flavour-wise it tasted great again too. I did brown rice with it again.

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I think I got the portion size a bit better this time too! I always try to get several colours on my chopping board but focus on green veg. I added the sweetcorn once it was in the pan but all the other veg are speed foods (mushrooms, mangetout, courgettes, green beans, peppers, broccoli, onions, garlic….)

Now to get my room spick and span in less than 2 hours…. wish me luck!!! 🙂

Day 162; Netflix bingeing and shopping

I went shopping into town today to grab some bits and bobs for Bella’s arrival tomorrow, as well as useful things to go towards my holiday. Knowing me, I had in the back of my mind that I could buy a dress or two if I saw a nice one, but nothing seemed to grab my attention today unfortunately! 😦 The only one I was close to buying was in H&M, and I even texted my mom a picture of me in it for her opinion. I instinctively picked up a large because I’ve been so used to having that size now for a while but it was a bit loose on me around the shoulders, waist and chest area. I went back to see if they had a medium and they only had XS and L. That was a shame. I’ll show you guys what it looked like anyway:

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I have a weird thing about not taking my socks off when trying clothes on, and it drives my mom mad because she thinks you can’t get a proper understanding of what a dress looks like if you wear socks. But here’s me being a rebel and keeping them on. The dress was black and had purple pineapples on – don’t ask me why but the pattern was really funky. Shame, though.

The whole trip wasn’t in vain though. I got a giant beach-style bag from primark which will be good for Wednesday. We have to take towels and stuff for the lake festival and considering me and Bella will be together I thought we may as well share a bag. I even got some new pjs (who doesn’t love a good pair of pjs….?) and a film. Maybe if we end up having a night in tomorrow we can watch it then. I also bought some new bed sheets as I probably won’t get mine through the washer and dryer in time for tomorrow considering there is already a queue of laundry baskets from my housemates in the kitchen as we speak.

I’ve really gotten into this programme on Netflix called Person of Interest. I really recommend it! The only problem is that I get so into it that hours fly by and I am still lying on the sofa 8 episodes in and I haven’t got any of the jobs done that I planned for the day! Tonight we are thinking about having a film night again but there are two contenders for the chosen film. I would quite like to watch The Hobbit (I think it’s called the Battle of the Five Armies, so the third film in the trilogy) as I haven’t watched it yet. But Joe fancies watching Back to the Future. I haven’t watched that either, and he thinks it is a right of passage to watch it.

I haven’t had dinner yet, or even decided what I am having. It may have to be a really easy meal as it is coming up to 8 o’clock now and I don’t like eating too late. If I eat at this kind of time I get the urge to snack afterwards and that’s a bad habit to get into. I will have a gander on the slimming world website for some inspiration. Knowing me though I’ll just throw things into a pan and hope it tastes good. Yesterday I had the rest of my diet coke chicken that I had saved. Although you can’t see it in the picture, I had some brown basmati rice with it to help soak up all the extra sauce I had. Turns out I hadn’t split the portions evenly so the second meal seemed much larger than the first; and with MUCH more sauce too! It tasted great though – I will definitely be cooking it again at some point! Speaking of, I still have some diet coke left over from Thursday come to think of it…..

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It’s weigh in tomorrow and I really don’t want to. I have eaten more this week than I usually would, and whilst it is all healthy things that are within the limits of Slimming World rules I know that I should’ve stopped eating. Now that exams are over and the days are less busy I find myself boredom eating. For me, that’s worse than emotional eating because it’s easier for me to tell when I am emotionally eating than when I am boredom eating. Not to mention that I had a massive night out this week, and there are several planned nights out this week (Waterworks festival and the university Summer Ball) which will be big nights for drinking. I need to just bite the bullet and weigh in – if I don’t own up to it I will just sit here in denial, won’t I?

Day 161; New blog layout…. again!

I generally don’t like change but the last month screams everything to the contrary. I’ve changed the theme and layout of this blog for a second time in a matter of weeks because I’m trying to make it more user friendly! It does have its issues though, which I will dedicate today to resolving as many of those issues as possible. I’m still a bit undecided as to whether I like it; it all looks a bit professional doesn’t it. Which is not very me at all! (Most of the issues at the moment are with the layout of the pages, and the organisation of menus, so feel free to have a nosy at stuff but it might not look pretty just yet!)

I’ve changed the way things are displayed and what-not, and I spent a bit of time making a collage of transformation pictures. Here is the one that you can find on the photos page, and you can see that I have added a photo for June! Feeling quite proud of myself for coming this far:FotorCreated

Just a side note, feel free to leave comments on my blog posts if you want to ask me any questions about Slimming World or just me in general, I’d be very happy to answer them.

Day 160; Diet coke chicken

I planned on doing a chicken tray bake but then I realised I had loads of spare diet coke from my night out on Thursday. So I thought it would be the perfect time to use some of it up in a slightly more…. productive way? I did alter the recipe from the slimming world website ever so slightly. I used tons of vegetables rather than just sugarsnap peas – I used courgettes, mushrooms, red peppers, asparagus, broccoli, green beans and petis pois. It really bulked it out and made it very filling (and really tasty). I don’t have any passata either so I used chopped tomatoes, but I suppose the main difference between the two would be the lumpiness of chopped tomatoes which I like! I used double the amount of garlic too….. I made my own wedges which (you guessed it) I smothered in garlic. I cooked enough for 2 portions so I am looking forward to dinner tomorrow! Maybe instead of wedges I will have a bit of rice, as that would soak up the extra sauce which I seemed to have. Here’s a picture of it: IMG_0725 Me and Joe are the only one’s in the house tonight so we are watching a film. We settled on the Karate Kid – the original one from the 80s! I’m missing bits of the film so I’ll stop blogging now 🙂

Here is the slimming world recipe: http://www.slimmingworld.com/recipes/diet-cola-chicken.aspx

Edit: I think I had the most ‘free foods’ in one day I’ve ever had! No syns either.

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Day 160; Summer has officially begun!

Second year of university is finally over and it doesn’t quite feel real yet. It’s flown by so fast and it has been a life changing year. My last exam went pretty well; I thought it would be really difficult given all of the past papers I read that were vile but some nice questions came up and I gave them my best. Walking out of the exam felt awesome! Plus it was really sunny so I had a nice walk home. Me and Bella booked our holiday as well! The price had gone down by about £30 from when we looked at it the day before so we were pretty chuffed. All of the plans falling apart months ago must’ve been for a reason and I think we’re going to have a great time. Only 16 more days now until we leave!!

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The beach near where we are staying. I cannot wait!

I went out Thursday night in celebration. We did the army bar crawl (crawl of duty) and my outfit came together quite well. By the time we got to the end of the crawl (i.e. a club) we’d mostly split up and gone to different places. I ended up having a great night though so I didn’t mind that we didn’t stay as a big group. I probably drank more than I realised because we were going from bar to bar so it would all add up pretty quickly. I didn’t really count because it was a celebration and I didn’t want to worry the whole night, but I stuck to low syn spirits and diet coke mixers.

IMG_0721Me and Janice – she didn’t go quite as ‘army’ as I did but she had dog tags on at least!

Considering it was my first day of complete freedom yesterday it was quite uneventful. I still had to get up for a dissertation at 10am which thankfully only lasted an hour. I have to decide what topic my dissertation will be on; it is based on Muscular Dystrophy, but I am not allowed to post anything about specifics as I had to sign an NDA! Afterwards, I went to the main eatery on campus with my friend Imogen for a chat. She left to go to Budapest today with some of her housemates and friends so I won’t see her for a while! In the evening, our neighbour (who is my housemate’s girlfriend) had a BBQ which I fully intended on going to. I was pretty exhausted and fell asleep at about 6 o’clock through to gone 8! I felt quite ill too because I have a cold and a sore throat – not the best start to my summer after all. I managed to whip up some dinner (no burgers and hot dogs for me 😦 ). Lots went into it (manage 7 or 8 veggies) but I can’t remember the specifics. It’s basically a chicken stirfry with chopped tomatoes, veg and spices thrown in. I did get a pic though!

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I’m still sat in my pjs despite it being almost 3pm. The life of a student eh! I’ve not long had lunch which was a tomato, mushroom, mangetout and pepper omelette with cucumber and baked beans. Yes, my go-to lunch as per usual. I don’t have any sliced meat so I had the beans to bulk it out a bit and keep me full until dinner. I plan on doing some sort of a chicken tray bake with roasted potatoes and tomatoes, courgettes too! I think I will have to ring mom to get a recipe or some sort of timings for doing it. I can cook things I’m used to but attempting anything else and it can all go wrong very quickly.

IMG_0724I might have overdone the omelette just a tad but it was seriously yummy. I can’t believe I used to dislike omelettes; what would I possibly eat for lunch now otherwise!!! 

I’ve got a few chores done like tidying and my laundry, but now I need to start preparing for Bella’s arrival for Waterworks fest in a few days. I should probably start that now…..

Day 158; Last day of exams

So today has finally arrived! I have my last exam at 2pm, so I have a few hours now to buckle down to the last bit of revision I can squeeze in. Given that the rest of my house has finished, I’m surprised that they weren’t out celebrating or using their free time more productively; they just watched a film and went to bed at like 11pm! That’s earlier than a standard night during exams. I didn’t mind though because it meant I wasn’t missing out on anything.

I forgot to post on here yesterday because it was all a bit busy with revision but uneventful in any other respect. The weather was amazing and I just wanted to go outside and chill out. Instead, I revised from the moment I woke up until I went to bed, so it was a tough day on my poor brain. It will be worth it today though when I walk out of the exam room finally finished!

Yesterday I actually remembered to take pictures of my food so I can get back into the habit of posting what I’ve been munching on. For lunch I had chicken in cajun spices with garlic veg stir fry;

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Chicken, green beans, asparagus, courgettes, peppers, mushrooms, mangetout peas, cucumber, fresh tomatoes, garlic and some cajun spice

For dinner I had a simple jacket potato with baked beans, and peppers and cucumber on the side. I was deep in revision and didn’t want to cook anything fancy,

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On a side note, me and Bella are booking our holiday today! We’ve settled on a hotel in Gran Canaria and the price is great. We will be leaving in less than 3 weeks so now the pressure is on to stay slim until then! I presume we will have loads of photos so I want to look my best!

Day 156; Back to university

The internet on the train seems to be much better today. So I may actually be able to finish this blog and get it posted before I even arrive into Reading station! I got to Birmingham station about half an hour before my train was due to leave because I hate having to rush around last minute to jump on. Mom walked me in to the lobby and I said goodbye. I think she got a bit emotional and I have cried every single time I’ve gone back to Reading and this is no exception. I just can’t do it infront of her else I’d set her off! I’d already printed my return tickets off when I was in Reading so I didn’t have that to worry about. I just killed a bit of time in WHSmith and M&S. I didn’t buy anything other than a magazine because my mom has made me a full lunch of chicken, pasta, mangetout peas, carrots, mushroom, bbq sauce, sweetcorn and petis pois and some fruit and a water bottle. I get complimentary food in 1st class so I’ll probably have a cup of tea (they give you biscuits, crisps and cake to accompany that) but without any sugar or sweetener. I can lose just that one luxury for now 🙂 Speaking of, the 1st class host just asked me what I wanted!

Surprisingly, the sun is shining today. If it keeps up, I won’t have to get a bus back to my house and I will walk it instead. It’s a good 40 minute walk so great for Body Magic, and with the luggage I’m carrying it will certainly get my heart pumping a bit. It’s a hillier walk from the station > home than home > station too.

And so Tuesday has come rushing back around again. This week has gone so fast. I think it’s probably because I was at home having fun, and any time I have an exam coming up time seems to whizz by. I don’t really want to go back to uni as I know the next few weeks will be tough on my diet. I know there will be lots of nights out planned and that makes it difficult to stay on track. I will be back in Birmingham in just over a fortnight though as Ken is picking me up on the 16th. Me and Bella haven’t made too much progress in terms of what to do for our holiday, but top of the list right now is Gran Canaria! That is something to aim towards – we’re right next to the beach so I want to be rocking a bikini by then (only 3 weeks from now!!!).

I will leave you in suspense no longer. I weighed in this morning, but the scales at my house aren’t digital so you have to interpret it from looking at which notch it sits on. We moved it around a few times and I got 3 different results so I just averaged it and hoped for the best. Last week I weighed 12st 9lbs. This week I weigh….

12st 6lbs!!!!!!

Yes, really. I have hit TARGET!!! I honestly can’t believe it. It seemed so far away just 5 months ago, yet I really am here! I have added the awards for 4 stone and target onto the awards page. A part of me is glad that I hit target whilst being at home because I had my mom there. Plus, at the party for nan every single person commented on how good I was looking. It was an awesome feeling. So that means I have lost a total of 66lbs and have gone from 240lbs to 174lbs. It’s unrealllllll.

I have now made the decision to drop my target to 12 stone 2 lbs. It’s good to have something to aim for, whether it be fitting into a particular dress or for a certain occasion. But for me at the moment, being a ‘healthy’ weight would be fantastic. It would give me a BMI of 25 which, although on the uppermost end of healthy, is still a healthy weight. Plus, for my 5 ‘ 9 frame I am quite broad so I won’t ever be 10 stone or something.

I will get to updating my graph and table. Monthly weigh in is on the same day as the summer ball so if all goes to plan I will have maintained this weight loss. If I lose a bit more and hit a healthy BMI I will consider writing to slimming world and applying for my story to appear on the website. It would be a cool thing if my story could inspire others. If I saw a girl lose more than 4 1/2 stone in less than 6 months I would be so inspired, but looking at my own achievement doesn’t inspire me in the same way even though it is the exact same thing. I think I need to pat myself on the back to be honest!!!